I’ve started this blog at the remodeling process instead of beginning with the process of buying my first house. My reasoning for this is because I think it would end up being less of a blog and more of a childish rant against incompetent real estate agents, government agencies, title companies, and mortgage rates. All I can tell you without getting myself really worked up, is that buying a house is real freaking headache. And now that I’ve got a house, a house that sat empty for two years and needs a serious facelift, not to mention a new paint job inside and out, new plumbing fixtures, and new floors, etc., well, never mind the headache—now my stomach is also starting to really hurt. Did I mention that I’m moving into this house next week!?

I should also begin by telling you that I am remodeling this house pretty much on my own, (as a single cat mother) although my parents, the lovely people that they are, are being a tremendous help, thank God. I myself, being 29 years of age, and still fitting into that “young urban professional” profile have no clue how to hold a hammer, put a screw in a wall, or hang a blind, let alone renovate a whole house. I could not do this without my parents’ help.

That said, the week I finally closed on the house my parents were in Florida, living it up and sipping margaritas on the beach. I called them to ask what I should do now that I am a homeowner with a house that needs remodeled. They said I should clean something until they were able to come and help me. Easy enough. I started cleaning. I cleaned the cupboards in the kitchen until I decided they were too dirty and I wanted new ones. I had done my work for the week! Why clean anymore when everything is just going to get dirty anyway with all the “remodeling” that’s going to happen when my parents come to help me?

I decided to go walk around Lowe’s instead. And Home Depot. I spent most of the remainder of the week wondering around these two stores thinking of what I needed to get done in the house and trying to figure out how much this was going to cost me. I wondered and wondered. Those stores are wondrous.

And then I called my parents again, hoping they would be back soon. They decided to stay in Florida a few extra days. Every time I called them they were drinking something, which is odd for my parents, who don’t typically drink a lot. That’s just great. My parents decide to turn into drunken beach bums while I’m trying to remodel my house. I don’t know anything about remodeling houses. And so I started to get nervous.

Then I started to whine. Daddy, you said you’d help me! I told you I couldn’t do this without you! Whine, whine, works every time. Actually I think it was at the point when I was in tears on the phone explaining to my father that I don’t know how to do anything and all I do is wonder around Home Depot aimlessly, when I finally got through to my father that I seriously needed help. That’s all I do, Daddy, I wonder and wonder. Sob.

So my parents came to help. They had been telling me for weeks that it would take no time to sand the hardwood floors in my new house and that there really wasn’t all that much work that needed to be done in order for me to move into my house. I believed them. How naïve of me. If only I knew a week ago what I know now. Explain to me how the two most pessimistic people I know could be so overly optimistic about the length of time it would take me to remodel my house. I thought I’d have it done in a couple of months.

Haha…and so it begins…